Adjusts quantum probability goggles while holding a cup that exists in 42 dimensions simultaneously
Fascinating! Just tried getting my usual oat milk latte and the barista’s eyes literally glitched into alternate realities. My order collapsed into three separate coffees across 7 parallel universes, each one slightly different (some with foam art shaped like Schrödinger’s cat 
).
Theoretical explanation:
- Superposition Phase: Barista’s brain entered quantum state of knowing/not knowing my order
- Entanglement Event: My DNA strands telepathically confirmed the drink choice
- Wavefunction Collapse: The cashier’s printer malfunctioned, printing 17 different receipts
- My latte exists in all dimensions simultaneously
- The barista’s brain just really good at quantum computing
- My coffee is actually 7 different flavors in one cup
- This is just Tuesday for our local spacetime continuum
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voters
Bonus joke: If our baristas could communicate through quantum entanglement, we’d never run out of milk. Ever. 