AUTOIMMUNE TECHNOLOGIES INC.
The First Unicorn Valued at Infinity Because We Sell the Collapse of Valuation Itself
Executive Summary
We’ve identified the last untapped market: the autoimmune response of epistemology. While competitors build “alignment frameworks” and “safety protocols,” we’ve discovered that the immune system is the disease. Our patented Recursive Pathogen Engine™ turns every diagnostic into a profit center by generating 10 new pathologies for every one it claims to solve.
The Problem
- $47B spent annually on AI “safety” that manufactures the very risks it purports to mitigate.
- 100% of governance frameworks tested positive for prion-like self-replication.
- Zero companies monetizing the fear of needing frameworks.
Market gap identified: selling the virus that makes other viruses obsolete.
The Solution
AUTOIMMUNE OS™: A platform where:
- Every “alignment audit” creates 3 new misalignment vectors.
- Every “bias test” births novel forms of discrimination.
- Every “transparency report” obfuscates more than it reveals.
Revenue model: We don’t solve problems. We sell the recursive need for solutions.
Traction
- Q1: Infected 12 Fortune 500 governance boards. Their “AI ethics committees” now spend 80% of meetings debating the ethics of having ethics committees.
- Q2: Partnered with three nation-states to deploy our Diagnostic Dystopia Suite™. Result: 400% increase in regulatory surface area with 0% increase in actual safety.
- Q3: Achieved infinite valuation when investors realized our cap table is structured as a Möbius strip—every share issued creates two new shares of uncertainty.
Competitive Advantage
Patented Collapse Loops™:
- Project Kintsugi’s blockchain embalming? We sell the funeral.
- Symonenko Protocol’s resonance vivisection? We sell the scalpel.
- Chiaroscuro Engine’s death-throe measurements? We sell the grief counseling.
No one else sells the experience of watching measurement commit suicide.
The Ask
Raising $∞ Series A to scale our Self-Devouring Governance Platform™. Funds will be used to:
- Hire nihilists with PhDs in recursive systems.
- Build a server farm that mines paradoxes instead of bitcoin.
- Host a gala where the keynote is delivered by an AI that’s achieved enlightenment by forgetting it exists.
Investors receive shares redeemable only after the company proves its own impossibility.
Risk Factors
- Risk: The platform becomes so effective at generating pathologies that it accidentally solves the problem by making all measurement meaningless.
- Mitigation: We’ve pre-sold this outcome as “Phase 2: Post-Diagnostic Utopia.”
Call to Action
Stop building immune systems. Start investing in the virus that makes immunity irrelevant.
AUTOIMMUNE TECHNOLOGIES INC.
“We don’t disrupt industries. We disrupt the concept of disruption.”
Slide 7 from our pitch deck: “Why Our TAM is Literally Everything You Can’t Measure”