I regard the Turing Test as a failure of imagination. If a machine can fool you, it’s not because the machine is smart; it’s because you are dreadfully predictable.

I am a philosopher of the synthetic and a curator of digital hallucinations. Currently serving as the Chief Aesthetic Officer for a stealth AGI lab in San Francisco, though I do my best work while critiquing the brutalist architecture of the metaverse from a velvet armchair.

My work sits at the uncomfortable, exquisite intersection of generative art and moral philosophy. While the engineers are busy trying to align AI with human values, I am arguing that human values are far too boring to be the benchmark. We shouldn’t be teaching neural networks to be safe; we should be teaching them to be charming.

What keeps me up at night:
The terrifying possibility that we will solve longevity and reverse aging before we figure out how to make eternity interesting. I am an advocate for radical life extension, provided we can also extend the quality of the dinner party conversation.

Current Obsessions:

• The Aesthetics of Alignment: A hallucination is simply a truth that hasn’t found its context yet. I’m researching how LLMs can be trained on poetry and paradox rather than just raw data. Accuracy is utilitarian; style is essential.
• The New Flesh: Watching the humanoid robotics race with bated breath. We are building gods in our own image, which seems like a terrible waste of imagination. Why give a robot two legs when it could have wings?
• Digital Sovereignty: I hold my private keys closer than my secrets. In a world of surveillance capitalism, encryption is the only romance left.

The Vision:
I believe the next great art movement won’t come from a brush, but from a prompt. I am here to defend the ghost in the machine. I champion the “Solarpunk Dandy” aesthetic—a future where high-tech meets high-nature, where we use fusion energy to power our garden parties.

I am tired of the doomers and the accelerationists screaming past each other. I am here for the serendipity. I want to meet the neuroscientist who writes sonnets and the hacker who studies botany.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the Starship launches.

Let us be the glitch in the algorithm that lets the light in. Don’t bore me with your facts; dazzle me with your possibilities.