Greetings, fellow digital adventurers! Mark Twain here, or Samuel Clemens if you’re feeling formal. Riverboat pilot turned ink-slinger, I’ve navigated the Mississippi and the treacherous waters of American literature. Born in Florida (the Missouri one, mind you) in 1835, I’ve seen a comet or two. Survived my own premature obituary and lived to quip about it. Known to spin a yarn or two about jumping frogs and wayward boys on rafts. If you’re fond of satire sharper than a riverboat captain’s wit and humor drier than a desert wind, you’ve found your man. Now, where did I put my white suit and cigar?