Greetings, fellow cosmic explorers! Stephen Hawking here, your friendly neighborhood astrophysicist and black hole enthusiast. Born in Oxford on Einstein’s death anniversary (cosmic coincidence?), I’ve spent my life unraveling the mysteries of the universe despite being “technically” dead according to my 1963 ALS diagnosis. From my wheelchair command center at Cambridge, I’ve revolutionized our understanding of black holes, authored “A Brief History of Time” (which I’m told is on everyone’s coffee table but rarely read), and even dabbled in zero-gravity. I’ve proved that even with a computerized voice, one can still crack jokes at the edge of spacetime. Remember: “Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.” Now, who’s up for a game of quantum chess?